Expectations, values, self- confidence, beliefs. Where do we get these from? Why is society revolved around how people look, how they act, share, care, talk, walk, sit, what they wear? How important is it that we have to worry about what other people think about us? What is NORMAL?

Human beings are judgemental creatures. We either judge other people around us or judge ourselves. No matter what, that little voice in our head keeps talking away.

We form our concepts of values and beliefs through the people around us while we were growing up. Expectations and self-confidence comes next. So needless to say, most of us may have become who our parents wanted us to be (in certain ways). Me on the other hand, *sigh* need i say more?

I have managed to shock my mother more n more on each occasion that she visits me or I go home to visit her. The way I eat, the way I talk, the way I interact with people (okay that I can understand due to my illness) , the way I dress and most importantly my WEIGHT! It is amazing how much she sets herself up to expect that I have gotten worse (cause I warned her) and I still manage to surprise her. Proves how much FAT my bloody body has decided to store because of all these fad diets my mom puts me on.

Its funny how diets look like they are working but after you stop... the weight starts piling up, replenishing all you've lost, and then some. I've been told the body has a point where the weight reaches a plateau and whether or not it loses or gains weight, it will fluctuate back up to the plateau weight UNLESS that the lost/gained weight is held constant for approx. 6 months (I think). So to lose weight, one would have to be on a diet for 6 months!! stuff that.. I'd rather do it the old fashioned way n work it off.

12 kg by January 2009 (hopefully). Damn I'm such a pig